my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
