just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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