im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
