I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
