so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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