All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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