I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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