Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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