either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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