yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
