i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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