i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
