I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
