Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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