I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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