well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
