I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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