i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
