So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
