HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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