After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
