We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
