"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
