bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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