If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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