I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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