Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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