Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
