I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
