What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
