Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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