ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
