I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
