my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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