In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
