Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you will always have a special place in my vag
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
third nipple confirmed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
