i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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