apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This baby is an asshole
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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