I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
