Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
