Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
do nipples grow back?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
