I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
