I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
