sarcasm needs its own font
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
