i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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