Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
