toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
