i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
