god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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