New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
