We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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